Ara ara Random Skit Thingee's
by Murto
Summary: 3rd chapter is up! Another couple of random skits to wet your whistle. Basically a collection of funny and random Love Hina skits I write when I'm bored or out of ideas in my other fics. READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!
1. Numero Uno

Title: Ara ara.... Chapter: #1 – Numero Uno Author: Murto  
  
Pre-FanFic Notes: I've sorta hit writers block, as well as many chronological problems. Here it is, it was bound to happen someday so I give you the first chapter of my short self-insert LH skit random thingee whatsits...  
  
Legal Crap: Well knowing what us authors of comedic LH fics have done I think we all should be sued... however I'm Aussie and the messed-up American mindset of suing everyone and everything completely blows. That's my opinion anyway... Anyhoo, everything in this work belongs to it's respective owners.  
  
--------------------------------------------------------. Chapter #1 – Numero Uno  
  
Fade to black and white screen with the old-school countdown to movie start thingee  
  
5  
  
4  
  
3  
  
2  
  
Fade out  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Murto, an author who is comparatively new to FanFiction, sits at his crappy computer in his 3rd story room in the Hinata Inn. What possessed him to move house many thousands of kilometers north into Japan completely evades him, and why he braves the cold whilst he studies at uni over the Internet also evades him. All we know is that due to the 1hour time difference between his uni and the Hinata most of his assignments end up getting in late.  
  
"Arrgh! Due to the 1hour time difference between uni and the Hinata my assignment is late again!" he grumbled as he read the results on the web. "Oh well, only 10% marks lost..."  
  
'EvilOne82 has signed in' beeped Murto's instant messaging software. Being the povo he is, he opted for the free download of BoganMail; programmed to be 50% more annoying.  
  
"What the...? Who's this" Murto spoke aloud as he typed the same into the computer.  
  
EvilOne82: Just your average evil person bent on keeping onee-chan for myself...  
  
Murto: Heh, I've figured you out now! Your !  
  
EvilOne82: Wow, your soooooo smart. :D  
  
Murto: What the...? Who's editing my messages?  
  
DarkNyan: Ahh that'd be me, nyan.  
  
Murto: Oh, your partner in crime. I'll fix that.  
  
EvilOne82: Like hell you will!  
  
"MMMUUUUURRRRRRTTTTTTOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" yelled Naru with a rather pronounced Doppler affect indicating that she was moving at great speed towards Murto's room.  
  
His door flew open where Naru and almost all of the residents of the Hinata stood.  
  
"Hey! What can I do you for" chirped Murto, hoping that remaining optimistic Seta-style will cool everyone's tempers.  
  
"Why did you email me this picture?" she blasted.  
  
The picture was a very dodgy and obviously fake picture of Shinobu in very revealing clothing (or lack thereof). There was Murto's email address at the bottom with Kanji reading 'Dear Naru, I know what your real sexual orientation is so I sent you this picture. From Murto'.  
  
"Hey! You think I sent you this?"  
  
"Murto-senpai, h-h-how could you?" Shinobu whimpered.  
  
"This is completely unforgivable..." Motoko stated, drawing her katana.  
  
"H-h-h-hang on now, surely we could sit down and discuss this like gentlemen over a cup of tea." Murto said, backing up looking for a nearby ACME Author pen or a Tricorder with which to call for Scotty to beam him up.  
  
BOOM, CRASH, SMACK!!!!!  
  
"Wow! Look at him go!" Kitsune said in awe as she watched him fly over the horizon.  
  
She was sitting at the desk in Kanako's room on her computer. She turned the computer off, hid the tranquiliser gun and stepped over Kanako and Kuro's unconscious bodies on her way out of the room.  
  
"He he hee, I should do this hacking thing more often!"  
  
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Keitaro sat behind a log amongst a dense part of bushland. Clutching his pump-action rifle loaded with paintballs, he panted. After all playing skirmish is not easy on the human body, especially when it's as unfit as a 3rd year ronins.  
  
Beep beep! went his mobile.  
  
"Moshi moshi," He said as he put it to his ear. "I'm kind of busy right now."  
  
"Oh, gomen-nasai. I didn't realise," the voice said. "What are you doin'?"  
  
"Playing skirmish. Su fixed her teleporter so Murto gave us tickets for one free game at his favourite skirmish parlour back in Australia," He commented. "Who is this?"  
  
"Turn around" the voice said.  
  
Naru was behind him and about 2 meters away, holding her semi-automatic paintball rifle in one hand and her mobile in the other.  
  
"DODGE THIS, BAKA!!!!!"  
  
Naru quickly unloaded 4 well-placed shots into his collarbones and vital organs. Then, for reasons completely unbeknown to her, Keitaro vanished into thin air. All that remained was 4 paint splats on the gum tree's trunk and the silence of the bush.  
  
"No, you dodge this!"  
  
Behind Naru he stood and from his vantagepoint dropped the Remote Holographic Projector. He then dropped to his knees and fired 12 rounds into her ass as she ran away for her life screaming 'My ass! My beautiful ass!'.  
  
"All too easy," Keitaro remarked as he loaded another paint canister. "Aren't we gruesome?"  
  
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All of the residents of the Hinata-sou were sitting in the lounge room downstairs watching "Who wants to be a millionaire".  
  
Eddie McGuire: ...you sure you want to lock it in?  
  
Contestant: Thinks Yes, I'm sure.  
  
Eddie: Ok, and the answer is...turns and looks at camera We'll go to an ad- break now, you'll find out the answers in a few minutes on "Who wants to be a millionaire".  
  
"This show REALLY sucks" Naru complained.  
  
"I agree with Naru-chan, anyone got any ideas for something to do?" Keitaro asked.  
  
"We could take a dip in the hot springs" Motoko said.  
  
"Nah, Keitaro will walk in, get in a chase and be incidentally beaten up again. I want Onee-chan intact for tonight." Remarked Kanako.  
  
"How about a party? We could hold a drinking contest!" Kitsune asked.  
  
"Ara, what about a road trip?" Mutsumi proposed.  
  
"How about a trip to the beach?" Kentaro said, flanked on either side by all of the minor characters.  
  
"Yeah I wanna see Haruka-san in a g-string!!!" Shirai said with tissues jammed up his nose.  
  
"We could test out my latest invention!!!" Su asked.  
  
"BOXING CONTEST!!! TAMA-CHAN vs THE FLYING....Cat...thing...!" Shinobu yelled excitably, her voice floating off as everyone sweatdropped.  
  
"What about a lightsaber duel?" spoke Haitani.  
  
"Nah, VAMPIRES!!!! We could go around sucking peoples......umm........blood, yeah...." Motoko said rather Out-of-characterly.  
  
"What about a game of poker?" Mei suggested.  
  
"We could always play a game of 'Truth or Dare'." Tsuruko proposed.  
  
"...or 'Spin the bottle'." Seta said.  
  
"I reckon we just continue watching this." Haruka suggested.  
  
"I agree, all the best ideas have been overdone." Keitaro complained, changing the channel to 'Friends'.  
  
------------------------------------------.  
  
#1 – This has to be the sneakiest Kitsune prank I've seen or written in ages. Honestly she just gets more and more like a drunken version of Kanako every time I see her...  
  
#2 – Heh heh heh. KEITARO FINALLY GETS HIS REVENGE FOR YEARS OF TORMENT!!! Also a minor tribute to my other fic, Love vs Hina: A Capture the Flag Fic.  
  
#3 – This one just rips the shit out of all the stereotyped FanFics that are floating around! 


	2. Take 2, andaction!

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Title: Ara ara…

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Chapter: #2 – Take 2 and…..action!

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Author: Murto (I think I'm Indecisive but then again I'm not so sure…)

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Pre-FanFic Notes: Hey dudes, sorry about the updates that are irregular and few, but Uni has been sh*tt*ing me around again. For my friends, yes I'm still alive and writing; and for my enemies, yes I'm still alive because your assassination attempts were futile…

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Legal crap: We are the keepers of the sacred words "Murto", "doesn't own" and "Love Hina". But however you must appease us. You must buy….A SHRUBBERY! OR you could just ignore that and realise that if I did own Love Hina I wouldn't be writing this crap now would I? I'd pro'lly be making a second series or somethin'….

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Maehara Shinobu was sitting quietly at her desk in her room. She was meant to be doing homework like every good little anime character should be, but was instead drawing pictures of Keitaro. It was at this moment that her room filled with bright light and, speak of the devil, Keitaro appeared holding onto a device along with Su Kaolla. 

After quickly hiding her notepad in a mad embarrassed panic she soon composed herself and said "Um..a…Urashima-senpai, Kaolla. What…how…"

"It's something Su invented, it's called a Matter-paddle©. It's basically a hand-held teleporter." Keitaro said, checking to see if his arms were intact after using the said device. 

"YAY YAY YAY!!! Su has done it!! It will completely revolutionise the world!!! Now Su can go back to her home country and create a technology empire that will surpass Japan's!!!!" Su said; dancing, jumping and moon-walking everywhere. 

Keitaro and Shinobu sweatdropped…

"Ano, sorry Kaolla-san. I'm not quite sure if I can…umm…believe you. Could you show me?" Shinobu asked.

"Roger!! See you outside at the front door of the Hinata!" Su said cheerfully as she pressed a few buttons on the device and disappeared into thin air along with Keitaro. 

Just as Shinobu was about to leave her room she heard a series of screams…

"KYAAAAAAA!!!!"

"This is completely unforgivable…"

"AHH! You knocked over my sake…"

"Don't think you can teleport in here just because you WANT TO!! PERVERT!!"

Keitaro then went flying past Shinobu's window. Obviously worried about her 'Senpai' she ran to the window and called out to Kaolla.

"Kaolla-san, what did you do to my senpai!!!!"

"Oh dear, I think Su forgot to offset the X-coordinate…" said Kaolla as she scratched her head.

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Keitaro thought he was most devious. In his humble opinion at least, cleaning the hot springs at 6am should give him plenty of time before any of the girls wanted to use it. 

"Alright! Finally, I'll be able to clean the 'springs before anyone else gets here." He said out loud with a smile. "Everyone else is still asleep, meaning I won't get any of the usual 'Argh! Pervert' and 'How could you senpai?' remarks I usually get!"

However, much to his dismay the entire female population of the Hinata lay in the water before him. Now the usual scene begins…

"Pervert"

"How could you senpai"

"Great! Awesome blackmail footage!"

"Prepare yourself, Urashima!!!"

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Ending #1 – Bad Ending (What usually happens)

"Honestly, I'm innocent! I just came in here to clean the Hot Springs before you guys wanted to use them!" Keitaro said in his defence. 

"Sure sure, we believe you" Naru replied sarcastically, winding up her fist for a Naru-punch.

POW!!! Keitaro disappears over the horizon….

**Ending #2 – Scooby Doo Ending**

"Honestly, I'm innocent! I just came in here to clean the Hot Springs bef-" Keitaro said, but was cut off before he finished. 

"Shut up and hold still…" Naru said, pulling at Keitaro's face.

Keitaro's face then melted away like a scene from Mission: Impossible.

"Please don't hurt me," Kentaro Sakata said. "I didn't really want to come here, Kanako put me up to it…"

"Quit complaining, here you go officer!" Naru said, handing the now handcuffed Kentaro Sakata to a nearby police officer.

"Your going to be put away for a looong time…" the officer said.

"NNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" yelled Kentaro.

**Ending #3 – Lock stock and 2 smoking barrels Ending**

"Honestly, I'm innocent! I just came in here to clean the Hot Springs before you guys wanted to use them!" Keitaro said in his defence.

"Sure! We believe your innocent!" Naru said, holding a pistol to Keitaro's chin.

"Stop it bitch!!" Shinobu said, holding a pistol to Naru's head. "I-I-If you so much as touch my senpai, I'll pull this trigger!"

"Unforgivable! You have betrayed us young Shinobu." Motoko said, drawing her own pistol like she just stepped out of Noir. "For this you shall pay…"

"Stop it Motoko!," Kitsune said, raising her voice and drawing her pistol. "Shinobu buys the paper with the horse-racing results for me every morning! If she goes, you go!"

"Hey! You always create elaborate schemes that foil my Mecha-Tama's attempts to take over the world!" Kaolla Su said, holding a laser gun to Kitsune's head. "I'm fine with that but if Motoko goes I'll have no-one around with turtle-phobia to try them out on!"

"SU! I'm sick and tired of your contraptions dealing out endless pain and torment!" Keitaro spoke sternly as he drew a pistol on her.

Everyone was on edge. So much as a flicker of movement could result in someone pulling the trigger on their pistol. Then Mutsumi chose to walk in…

"Ara! When in Rome…," Mutsumi Otohime smiled, as she shot Keitaro.

"You bitch!" he said as he shot at Mutsumi, but missed and hit Su. Everyone else then shot each other until they all died.

**Ending #4 – Good Ending**

"Honestly, I'm innocent! I just came in here to clean the Hot Springs before you guys wanted to use them!" Keitaro said in his defence.

Keitaro winced, anticipating pain. The Naru-punch never came however…

"Heh heh heh, only joking," Naru said, walking back to soak in the Hot Springs. Everyone else followed. 

"Ok, umm…that was…weird" as Keitaro went back inside. 

**Ending #5 – The Matrix Ending**

"Honestly, I'm innocent! I just came in here to clean the hot springs before you guys wanted to use them!" Keitaro said in his defence.

"Mr Anderson, what a pleasant surprise" Naru said, wearing a suit.

They shoot at each other, dodging the bullets and using cool special affects. Keitaro manages to lose his gun in the fight and Agent Naru has him pinned down with her pistol to his head. 

  
"Hear that, Mr Anderson? It's the sound of…inevitability, it's the sound of…your death. Goodbye…Mr Anderson." She said, barely above a whisper as she slowly squeezed the trigger. 

"Dodge this" a voice said. It was Kanako who snuck up on Naru and held and pistol to her head. She fired and Naru died. 

"Thanks" Keitaro bowed.

"Anytime…"

**Ending #6 – Terrorist Ending**

"Honestly, I'm innocent! I just came in here to clean the hot springs before you guys wanted to use them!" Keitaro said in his defence.

"DIE PERVERT!" Naru yelled in a perfectly accented Arabic dialect of some sort. 

She pulled back her pink towel to reveal 30 odd sticks of dynamite strapped to her…body. She ran at Keitaro, hugged him and blew the pair of them into smithereens. 

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#1 – This was inspired by a scene from Red Dwarf, Series 4, Episode 6 – Meltdown, Scene 1 for those of you who really wanted to know.

#2 – I got this idea whilst I was at work. I was vacuuming away whilst thinking of Wayne's World and the rest is FanFiction history. I think I took it a bit too far though…


	3. 3rd Time Lucky

**Title:** Ara ara

**Chapter**: #3 – 3rd time lucky

**Author:** Murto

**Stupid Crap:** I just found out that apparently my nickname (which is derived from my surname) means "Death" in Spanish.  How cool.  XD

**Legal Crap**: 'Me' and 'Rights to Love Hina' don't work together in a sentence.  You know the drill.

**Pre-fanfic Notes**: Ok dudes, prepare for the usual random bullshit.  I PROMISE THAT I WILL UPDATE ALL OF MY FICS OVER THE WINTER HOLIDAYS.  That is after I've finished my uni exams.  Only a week left…..

Murto: ****Still waiting

Murto: Looks at his watch

Murto: DAMMIT, I wish time wouldn't pass so slowly. 

**Chapter 3 – 3rd time lucky**

Almost everyone was sitting quietly in the downstairs lounge room waiting for Shinobu to finish cooking dinner.  Normally the Hinata gang would just bolt downstairs when she called, but everyone is particularly hungry today.  Or just impatient. 

"I'm soooo hungry" Naru complained.

"Whatchya whining about? If yooo didn' skip brekfasht you wouldn' be so-" Kitsune replied incoherently before passing out, spilling sake on the floor. 

"THIS SUCKS!!! ARGH THE PAIN, THE TORMENT WE'RE GOING THRU…" Kentaro said. 

"What are you talking about?" Keitaro asked.  "There's no way your getting free food from us, shoo shoo."

Keitaro grabbed a broom and swept a distraught Kentaro out the front door.  It was at this point there was a tremendous boom and crash, with a blue flash coming from down the hallway.  All the gang went to investigate to find the source of the problem to be none other than Kaolla Su's room.  Upon entry they found Su donning a backpack about to walk into a large stone circle.  The circle had hieroglyphs carved on it and was filled with a blue watery substance. 

"Ara ara, how pretty…" Mutsumi commented.

"Su! What _ARE_ you doing?"

Su replied in a deep, sinister voice similar to that of Vegeta's "Ha ha ha.  I've finally finished constructing my own Stargate!  Now I can leave this pathetic world and make the universe mine!  HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!"

With that, Su jumped into the 'gate and disappeared.  The 'gate shut down, leaving the rest of the Hinata residents staring in disbelief. 

"What in the…?" Naru said.

"URASHIMA!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER??" Motoko yelled.

"I'm not entirely sure.  But you know, I think this explains a lot" Keitaro said, leaving the room and switching the light off. 

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Keitaro was sitting at his new computer, which he'd just spent all of his savings on.  Typing frantically, he just _HAD _to get this archeology essay done and out of the way.  He just had to, his livelihood depended on it.  It was at this point that Murto, the author, walked in to see what's up. 

"Hey dude, how's the assignment going?" Murto asked.

"Almost done, Murto-san.  Only have to finish the last few hundred words of my conclusion and I can print it out." Keitaro replied, turning away from the computer to speak to Murto. 

"So what ya got planned afterwards?"

"Well Naru said if I got the assignment done she would go out on the town with me.  I'm thinking of taking her to Moo Moo Beef Bowl!!!" Keitaro finished, with a stupid grin on his face.  Realising that his nose was bleeding, he clogged his nose with tissues before he got blood on the keyboard. 

" Baka, still trying are you? You know it's only gonna end in being punched, right?"

"Hey, I love Naru!! What's wrong with her?"

"Hey don't get me wrong, Keitaro.  I'd definitely go her, but with that personality?  I'd rather Mutsumi." Murto said, crossing his arms. 

"I thought you had a thing for Kanako?"

"I do however if I was in your shoes I wouldn't be rooting my own sister would I? Blood related or otherwise." Murto concluded, raising an eyebrow then leaving the room. 

Thinking that Murto was perhaps the most mentally imbalanced person in the world (or just plain weird), Keitaro continued his assignment.  That is he attempted to.  Upon turning around he noticed that something was missing. 

"HEY MURTO-SAN!! GIVE ME BACK MY 22" MONITOR!!!!"

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Shinobu as cooking dinner in the kitchen as usual when none other than a certain Mitsune Konno stormed in.  She actually appeared sober for once, and started rummaging ferociously through the pantry.  Afraid that Kitsune was going to defile the kitchen, Shinobu stepped in. 

"What are you looking for Kitsune-senpai?" Shinobu asked.

"I'm outta booze and I don't get paid until Wednesday."

"Your not going to find much in there, that's were I keep the ingredients."

"Yeah but I stockpiled everything I could find the other day and put it in here." Kitsune said, standing up and wiping sweat from her brow. 

"There hasn't been any alcohol that I could see in there for at least the last few weeks.  Even then I don't keep anything like that in the pantry." Shinobu replied, getting annoyed.

"What about that putrid pink stuff that was on the top shelf?"

Shinobu was in shock, "THAT WAS MY WINDOWLENE!"

"Oh….it tasted alright with that cha-truce, green liqueury-type thing in it…"

"You drank the dishwasher liquid too?"

"Oh, no wonder I was farting bubbles the last few days…" Kitsune shrugged, walking out of the kitchen. 

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I N T E R M I S S I O N COMING SOON from the pen (or keyboard) of 'Murto' 

More chapters in 'Hinata Hogwarts', maybe even another Quidditch match!

More chapters in 'Ara ara', my Love Hina random skits fic 

The last 2 chapters and epilogue of 'Love vs Hina', my capture the flag Love Hina fic

A Final Fantasy 8 / Harry Potter crossover

Possibly a first attempt at a Final Fantasy 8 fic

Possibly a first attempt at a Nadesico fic

Possibly a first attempt at a Full Metal Panic fic

Possibly a first attempt at a Azumanga Daioh fic

Possibly a first attempt at a hardcore Harry Potter fic (no crossovers)

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Murto was sitting, looking and almost pleading with his computer in the 3rd story bedroom of his in the Hinata-sou.  Unexpectedly, Naru Narusegawa and Motoko Aoyama barged in. 

"Murto!!! Explain yourself!!!" yelled Motoko, drawing her katana.

"Yeah," Naru added.  "We want an explanation as to why you've made us do more increasingly sad, wrong and off-the-wall stuff the last few weeks!"

Murto sighed, turning away from his monitor to look at the girls.  "I'm not being sarcastic, but I just run out of ideas."

"Nonsense!! I said explain yourself dammit!!!" Motoko said, about to throw a temper tantrum. 

"See? Your even beginning to get Out of character."

"Motoko is _not_ out of character! She seems like her normal self as far as I can tell." Naru said hotly.

Kanako Urashima walked in at that moment.  Both Kanako and Motoko exchanged glances, nodded and left the room hand in hand. 

"_See?_"

"Well it still doesn't explain your productivity, or lack thereof." Naru pouted. 

"I've been busy and writers blocked.  Uni exams have finished though so I have all the winter holidays to write Fan Fiction and make you do _ALL_ sorts of interesting things."

Naru showed a look on her face like she wasn't believing the author. 

"Ok," Murto smiled slyly.  "I'll prove it…"

"Don't call me Haruka!!!" Haruka yelled, appearing out of nowhere as she smacked Sarah repeatedly with a lump of cheese. 

"Howdy y'all!" Kitsune said as she rode a unicycle around on the ceiling. 

"DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE, SENPAI IS MINE!! ALL MINE, MWAHAHAHAHA!!"  Shinobu yelled, as she headbutted Seta numerous times. 

"I don't want him, I'm not _that_ gay.  Though I have had these fantasies…" Seta replied, stroking his chin. 

Murto turned back to look at Naru, smiling like a complete and utter bstard. 

"Baka," she muttered, storming off down the hallway. 

**Post FanFic Notes: **There you go, sorry for the wait.  I wrote these bits over the last few weeks in varying states of consciousness and sobriety.  I wrote the last sketch whilst playing Settlers 1 on my Amiga 1200, listening to the Southpark Movie Southtrack and while also drawing at least 5MW/h from all the appliances, tv's, computers, playstations and amigas I got at the auctions.  But that's all besides the point.  Tell me what you think…. R & R plz.

Murto: Thanks a lot dudes, here you go.

Murto hands Seta, Shinobu, Kitsune, Kanako and Haruka $50 each

Kitsune: You call this money? This looks like a yellow plastic piece of crap to me…#

Shinobu: Arigatou.  I needed the stress relief as well. 

Haruka: Can I keep the cheese?

Everyone else: Sweatdrop

# - Just out of pure interest (and for those foreigners that don't know), this is referring to the Aust. $50 note.  Unlike a lot of countries our notes are printed on plastic and come in half a dozen funky colours.  $5 note is pink, $10 note is blue, $20 is bright orange, $50 is yellow and the $100 note is lime green.  Just thought you'd be interested….


End file.
